Hayley Quinn is the UK’s leading dating expert, so if anyone know’s how to handle a break up correctly, it’s her!
Read on for her top tips on how to call it a day, nicely…
Saying ‘goodbye’ is definitely harder than saying ‘hello’.
If you thought getting into a relationship was hard: try getting out of one.
The dumpee gets endless sympathy, a free pass to be an emotional wreck and possible a round of drinks; the dumper gets unanimous hatred.
I’ve thought about it long and hard there’s simply no nice way of saying ‘you’re dumped’, ‘sling your hook’, or ‘it’s not you it’s me.’ In fact doing the ‘right’ thing of being honest, ending on good terms and all that stuff usually means you have to take the hard road, and deal with it.
So if you’re in a relationship that you know has run its course here’s my rules of the road for damage limitation.
- Take responsibility: remember that ex who was just a really bad boyfriend until you finally caved in and chucked him? Chances are he was planning that THE WHOLE TIME. Don’t be a low life, distant, or a cheat. Also avoid saying ‘we both know it’s not working’ and leave yourself wide open for them to disagree. Instead bite the bullet, be upfront about what you want and save yourself some drama.
- Make it clean cut: chances are if he likes you he’ll try to negotiate the break-up by suggesting he change. For one you know people rarely change; and even if he did you’re kind of at the point of no return, right? So fight the temptation to cave in and stick to your original plan. No ‘maybe if’s’ about it.
- Get out before you act out: if you look sexier turning up to the office (have you seen the new guy?!) than a ‘date night’ with your guy, you’re already in the danger zone. It is ridiculously tempting to test the water of single life with a fling, but ultimately this won’t help your cause.
- If you’re at the stage where you’re deleting texts and having one too many coffee ‘hangs’ with another guy, it’s time to take a deep breath and do the split before you do the dirty. Because when they look you in the eyes and say ‘is there someone else?’ you want to say ‘no’ and actually mean it.
Having a good exit strategy isn’t just about being a saint: or thinking about the other person before yourself. In fact, it’s often about saving yourself long run drama for short term gain.
Besides you always want to be ‘the one that got away’, not ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’.