So you’d like to have the benefits of being in a relationship without actually being a relationship? Maybe you’ve just come out of a long term relationship and don’t fancy getting yourself into another, just yet. Or, maybe you just want to have some fun without any of the emotional torment and commitment that comes with serious relationships. With all the simplicity of single life but all the fun of an active sex life, Friends with Benefits seems like an ideal arrangement. Easy and uncomplicated, right?
While this sounds like a beneficial scenario for both parties, actually doing Friends with Benefits can be a whole different story. Whilst you expected the arrangement to be effortless, uncomplicated and not to mention endless fun, it turns out there’s a set of unwritten rules that must be followed. If either party have trouble following “The Rules,” well guess what, things have just got complicated and you’re actually verging on a relationship with more issues than the serious relationship that you were avoiding in the first place.
The number one rule in the Friends with Benefits game is not to get attached. The idea is to keep all emotions towards this person under wraps. No strings attached, no emotions you said. It’ll be easy, right? Wrong! Having a friend with benefits will naturally lead to a lot of intense emotions. We’re only human after all. And feeling the pangs of jealousy because they’re going on a date with someone else is not something you can hide too easily. But who are you to kick up a fuss about it? You’re not in a relationship remember? They could actually go on a date every night this week, if they wanted to… tricky.
Spending too much time with your “friend” is another no no. As soon as you start spending time together in daytime situations, you’re immediately entering serious relationship territory. Yes, this person is your friend and you probably do enjoy their company, but taking the relationship outside of the bedroom will again complicate things and make (at least) one of you feel like it is heading somewhere more serious. The aim of the game is to keep it as far away from any kind of relationship behaviour as possible. But how far can you go without losing the benefits altogether?
The point is, however simple you thought Friends with Benefits was going to be, there is always going to be one of the two who end up liking the other. This person is likely to continue with the arrangement, whilst in their head, crazy thoughts of a real relationship spin round and round until they’ve completely lost sight of why they became Friends with Benefits in the first place. There will come a point when a decision has to be made. Do we actually want to be together, as in boyfriend and girlfriend, all strings attached? Or do we call it a day here? Considering the reasons you became Friends with Benefits, it’s likely to be the latter… and with this, someone is getting hurt.
So, are there really any benefits to having friends with benefits? From the outset, the answer is of course yes. This is a mutual agreement that does benefit both people. But all it takes is a few broken rules, a little poorly managed time and some pesky emotions for this brilliantly simple and ever so uncomplicated arrangement to become the most complicated situation that you’ve ever had the misfortune to find yourself in. Besides feeling confused, upset, jealous and most likely, a little annoyed (with them and yourself), at the end of it all, you’ve probably also lost what could have been a great friend. And really, what are the benefits of that?